There is still a lingering sadness in my Claire corner. We’ve been communicating via voicemail messages only. Can I have fire AND water? Can I have fire and water? Can I have fire and water? (Firepassionheatsparkssexalchemyflameshungerdragons~~~
What is FireWater? An intoxicant–good and delerious in the short term with disastrous effects when taken too far or too close (toomuchinsidetoomuchgushingwoundstoomuchsmother).
I woke up today with fear and tears and rocked myself and asked the angels to curl their wings protectively around me and asked jesus to come radiate and place his gentle hand on my shoulder and asked the faeries to come and flutter and hover and giggle around me and of course asked the Goddess to let me crawl up into her ample lap and nestle into her cloud-pillow softness and be my Mama, my Mama, my Mama.
Pinches of terror at the thought of my long-overdue electric bill and internet bill and other bills and no work or not enough, anyway and what am I to do? What is the next indicated step? So I prayed and cried and prayed and cried and meditated and did my energywork and fed my Munay-ki seeds and caressed my sweet hair and face and just tried to surround myself with DeepLove.
Now my socks and shoes and pants are drenched from torrential rains that have washed and shook Seattle throughout the night and into the morning and
I Remember Water.
Is this my blessing, Goddess? My baptism? I anointed myself with oil this morning. Is this the receiving of a sacrament?
“Now, child. Move in deeper. Snake around these rocks and boulders like a winding river. Carry your salmon and driftwood. Keep moving, just falling naturally into crevices and pooling–whirlpooling and flowing without fear into your vortexes–knowing that I await on the other side with an afghan, a rocking chair, and freshly-stoked fire. This is your Fire and Water. Let yourself be cleansed. Shake your shaggy head and see your graceful movement, the dancing of your harmonies. Know that I am the music.” —-The Goddess